VISUAL ARTIST
The Absence, 2023- ongoing
Family photographs have always been a crucial element of my childhood memories, serving as the foundation for often imaginary recollections of events that never took place. My access to family history has been very limited; my mother passed away when I was twelve following a long illness, and my late father was never keen on sharing anything personal. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, he maintained a very aloof personality and did not share much with my sister and me. We know a few facts about his personal journey: he lost his mother in early infancy, joined the Bernardine Monastery, and became a brother after many years of rigorous training—only to leave under mysterious circumstances to study science and eventually meet my mother. In "The Absence," I am reconstructing memories and family history based on my family photography archives, with a particular focus on my father's mind and thoughts. The mysterious state in which he lived his life was seldom discussed. To me, my father represented not only my best friend but also a magical person from whom I had the privilege of being cared for. However, the medical records from his many stays at psychiatric institutions and stories shared by other family members left me with a significant void in fully understanding him. In "The Absence," I undertake a study of my father's illness through his writings, medical records, and photographs. Everything I remember from my childhood is directly linked to the images I possess. I find it impossible to recall any actual event from the past without first conjuring an image in my mind. The family archives have become my memories, and I take this further by altering the existing images in Photoshop to create a completely new family history where the chronology is distorted and the narrative is reconstructed to fit my manufactured memory, free from the constraints of existing tangible proof. The second part of the project involves my attempt to create my own photographic archives that illustrate the absence of information. I explore the notion of objects lacking defined purpose, family members without identity, spaces devoid of context, bodiless organs, and fragments of human flesh. I strip away actual meanings, leaving behind a void of context, much like how my memory cannot escape the embodied visual references left by my family photographs. The concepts of non-existence, perishing, death, vanishing, transition into another dimension, or change of meaning form the foundation of my visual practice.
My process of interfering with the physicality of the images symbolises my deliberate attempt to reshape memory and reality. By physically destroying a portrait of my father through burning, I am not only altering the photograph but also metaphorically engaging with the idea of erasing or reinventing parts of the past. This act makes me question the notion that photographs are fixed records; instead, I see them as malleable and open to reinterpretation.
Allowing biological matter and environmental factors to decompose the photographs introduces a natural decay, emphasising their fragility and impermanence. This deterioration transforms the photograph into a living process, where biological and chemical forces actively change its physical state. To me, this shift elevates the photograph from a static object into a dynamic entity that embodies change, entropy, and the relentless passage of time.
Interfering with the physical fabric of these images raises questions about the nature of memory and the perceived permanence of photographs. Acts of decay and destruction serve to reveal the fragility of physical objects and, by extension, the fragile nature of reality itself. Transforming the physicality of images challenges the idea that memories are fixed; instead, it highlights their vulnerability to natural and artistic forces that can alter or dissolve them over time. Such interventions push beyond the notion of static remembrance, emphasising the mutable and transient qualities of personal and familial histories.